Contemplating van Gogh - Self-Portrait with Straw Hat
29 April 2015
The first time I saw this painting, at the DIA (Detroit Institute of Art)... It was there, along with two other van Gogh paints, in the next room was the Rivera Court. I went very close; my face was about 10-15 cm from it. I could see the veins of the paint brush. The details were wonderful, as well as the emotion was strong.
I watched a steward and asked if it was the original, he looked at me smiling and said, "Yes, it's a Van Gogh." I paused for about fifteen minutes, staring like I was hypnotized and I relived the life of van Gogh as I knew it.
I pondered that many large, perhaps all, painters, (from Michelangelo to Basquiat, from Caravaggio to Modigliani) have an inner struggle almost damned life. But, then, is the painful as it makes a great artist? I think not, I think the pain is the result of a great sensitivity and perhaps painting is able to alleviate it ... surely this is what happens to me...
Not a superficial pain; It is not the anxiety of feeling part of life but it is the unjustified and eternal meaning of life

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