Biografia
Art is my Janus with which I explore my life. Here, I present two of my recent charcoal drawings, "Childbirth" and "Id", for 2010 Prize competition.
"Childbirth" depicts my recent experience of delivering my son. I did natural childbirth without any anesthetics. So, I experienced pain and joy that all women have felt during childbirth since the era of Eve. These two phases during delivery, pain and joy, are visualized on two trajectories starting from central self portrait capturing each moment. Conceiving a new life in my womb was like to bud a small heart off my heart. Breastfeeding right after delivery waked me up as a mother. And my new born son’s firm grasping at my breast during the first breastfeeding was felt as if he tried to re-connect to my heart. Finally, joy and heavenly peace came in to my new born son and me.
Formal title of the other work is "Study of my Id with Egon Schiele's characters", in short, "Id". "Id" shows exploration of my mental world. I was in anguish. I could not understand why I felt such a feeling. I could not get out of this deep emotional trap. When I was looking through Egon Schiele's drawings, a woman's contemplative posture and eyes gave me an answer. It was about how to set my Id (basic instinct, agony, ... etc.) to be free. Not just to be away from the restricting net of Ego and Superego. But, to admit the Ego and Superego's role, and extend beyond from inside. When I realized it, his characters started to associate in my artistic imaginary world. An old man's face was overlapped with an old woman's face denoting Janus, created when Id is unrestricted. And a distorted man's face was there far away from the net of Ego and Superego. Hence, I expressed these ideas with Egon Schiele's characters from his original sketches into a combined charcoal drawing.
