Cellebration

Core

Original work of the series online dopamine compulsion. The text has the collaboration on the translation of Valerie Connel.

Selected as the Editor’s Choice at Celeste Prize 2015, “Online Dopamine Compulsion” is a series of portraits and self-portraits produced between 2014 and 2015 while experiencing a compulsion crisis related to my schizophrenia. These digital collages were created with vibrant and supersaturated colours, using digital photos sourced from Google, Google Maps, Facebook and Instagram that were received via Skype, WhatsApp and Instagram chats. Other pictures I took myself and used glitches mainly in the background. I attended the Architecture and Urbanism University of São Paulo (FAU USP) for 13 years; my passion for technology led me to become a AutoLisp programmer at the age of 17 and I participated in the PIXEL 8 sea sound project in Norway. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, I’ve been in treatment since I was 23. My condition makes me a compulsive person and I need to practice impulse control. This project is reflexive and autobiographical in nature. An excessive desire for pleasure can lead to behavioral problems, such as compulsiveness, and we can pursue a passion for work or technology to our detriment. In extreme cases, the compulsion can lead to disorders such as schizophrenia; the significant increase of dopamine in the frontal lobe may cause hallucinations in disordered individuals. Although we derive great benefits from technology and the internet, we can’t ignore the problems caused by excessive dopamine rushes generated in the reward center of the brain by digital media or how this phenomenon is concentrated in urban centers. Dependence on cellphones is making relationships disposable. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to the loss of impulse control related to a high-tech lifestyle. The compulsion is a desire to do something that will bring immediate pleasure or emotional release or relief from boredom. But because the desire can never be satisfied, the compulsion doesn’t stop. People don’t even realize it’s happening; they lose their parameters and don’t notice that they have. This project aims to make people conscious of how they use technology and reflect on the effect it has on their life, in such a way that they may question their habits.

Kiki the cartoon by Adão Iturrusgaray

This is the cartoon kiki by Adão Iturrusgaray. When I left my home for the first time I went to share a house with him and he has been so nice at me! He told me there was a rule at the house and it was to never let the sugar jar opened kkkkk . He is a very known cartoonosy today and he introduced me to Laerte and Angeli and others not so known as Otto. And to his friend Zed and Stevan. Our neighbor Kika Bastos was aways together with us and I care about her as if she was my sister. I used to be am Autolisp programmer st that time and I don't laugh so easily so he used to test his cartoons by showing it to me. We used to live at Vila Madalena, full of little nice bars and hang out every night. People used to visit us. At the weekend we used to go to my mum's and have lunch. He used to wake up and buy orange juice every morning and have his breakfast and I used to wash the dishes. We had a very good life together. Kika went to work to Angeli. I used to wear funny clothes and my hair with red laces that he used to knot for me.I was 23 at that time. I rented a room at his house and he let me feel at home and not only use the room but the whole house ad if we where sharing everything. My mum used to send me groceries aswell. It was my first experience out of my family home. The three of us where very united. We where all very liberal at that time. We had a lot of fun. I guss Adão knows me very well but halph of the things he brings with those messages on his kikis cartoon s are his own messages to teenagers. This características has been published at the newspaper Filha de São Paulo and at the magazine Capricho. I have a book called " kiki, the first time", that seems to be inspired on a blog I used to have called "furious angels" with poems and pictures, dedicated to my boyfriends, that I've deleted. This book has been published by Capricho magazine, that was aimed for teen girls. He has authorized me to publish this image on my project and to write about the caracter. One day, after we where not living together anymore, cause the house we used to rent has been sold, he has me and said : may I name a cartoon your name? And I've said off course. But I never imagined what he would do with this caracter. She is curious about everything and wants to experience everything. She is exaggerated. Maybe he criticises myself in the past.I'm more then stable now and perhaps he would not be so interested to create a cartoon if he only knew me nowadays. I don't know. But he sent me this cartoon and I'm glad he has introduced the theme of the technology abuse. About the bag on the wrist, I disagree with him, nowadays to go out every girl should use one.and the other is a coincidence, recently I decided to stop to die my hair. But those two are aimed for his public are disconnected with my life unless he has remembered some fact I do not. I used to die my hair a lot in the past. I had it purple, lilac, red, pink. In therms of fashion Adão is very cool. Besides now he is painting wonderfully and I've invited him to join us here at celesteprize.com

Other works

My friend dj

This is my friend dj Glaucia mais mais (glaucia plus plus ) at cAsa 92. Id like to thank all the staff off the club for inviting me as v..I. p. Specifically to isadora who is one of the famous twins sister's that are very known at the scene at sp. To the female security responsable that has taken care of me when I bruised my leg and to the manager. To amanda who is responsible for the guest list. But I'd like to thank here not only the past night or this club specifically. It would be impossible to make a list of all night clubs I've been invited as v.I.p. that's because I'm friend of djs producers vjs cjs musicians ballet dancers singers actors directors stylists artists etc club owners hostess and if I'm forgetting someone please forgive me... I'd like to thank all those friends for this life full of beauty music and dance. I've passed through all the phases of night life in sp since 1985 punk dark rockabilly new wave etc I used to go to the madame sata club as a teenager and to the first electronic scene that was the hells club and there was other in between. Armagedon Columbia, I don't remember anymore. Until today that I go to dance more music like house and black music. I used to be part of the avonts family that started the raves in brasil. I used to think as myselfas the queen of raves because here we have an expression that says the queen of the something when you go every time. When I was pregnant I wentto all of them. I evendors took my daughter to one rave when she was a baby but there was a house with a nanny for her to stay away from the loud sounds. But after this experience I've decided that was the time to stop going to raves that at this time had became super raves. My daughter dad is a British producer and director called James Loyd and we split when she was 3 years old but we have a good relationship today and he was a wonderful partner for 5 years, a gentleman, used to bring me flowers aways, cook dinners at candelight every weekend, and take care of me and sophie avalon, and take me to dance. We used to dance twice a week sometimes. He also worked very hard. He gave me the privilege of being able to take care of my daughter and my home and do not need to work in need of obtaining money to pay for my bills. He also was aways a tempting to male me happy and we has been a great couple. After I split with him I've lived together with another guy for one and a half year, his name is Piterman Volnes. It was another beautiful relationship and he used to love me very much. But I had a long distance relationship with a German photographer through email for 11 years that somehow made me single and prevent myself to get attach to someone in brasil cause I loved him very much. We've know each other in brasil and he had to go away to work, once he came back and we've met and that's was our irl relationship. But it was so real to me that I couldn't get involved with anone else. His name is Malte Braun. Now I got over him. I has a relationship aswell with my ex bf Daniel and other bfs. I like them very much and we are friends. My best friend is one exbf. His name is Marcelo Minghini and he is a photographer. We dated for 8 years. I'm living a new life now, working a lot. I'm interested on my work and I feel good being single. I used to call Malte on every email angel. So I've made a poem for him that is on a poster of the music movie of the german directorPeter Sempel with my find Nick Cave, nina hagen and Blixa bagel at the moment museum. The poem says: " angels goes out at night to work and get lost"

Digital Photography, Portrait, Memory, Happiness, Freedom, 40x60x7cm

this is my last work. its called cellebration. please read the text on the image "online dopamine compulsion". I've asked my friend Gui Slaviero Kaesemodel to write about his feelings and thoughts regarding to this moment I've captured on his life and be my collaborator on STREAMERS. I will add his text here.
I think he is the best person to say about the moment, because he was the one living it, celebrating his birthday with his best friends on a very special moment of his life, when he hired me to make this artwork. This work is called cellebration because it's more than a simple celebration. It's something more important than this, as he wrote here:

"What can i say about Cellebration?
The first thing you see in Kiki’s work is that she really captured my happynes. You can see that when you see my big smile in each and every Picture!
That specific date was a very special one. After a very dificult year strugling with a substance addiction, i finnaly overcame what was killing me. And with that i could get my friends and Family back.
That specific day, the one that Kiki with a very sensitive eye got to imortalize in a frame, was the first time that i could get everyone back together with me and celebrate my birthday.
It was a special day and a special Project." (Guilherme Slaviero Kaesemodel)

Added 7 years ago

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