Bipolar 1 With A Gun

This self portrait series, Bipolar 1 With A Gun, puts a real firearm in the hands of a 'crazy' person - the photographer herself - to portray the dangerous internal struggle of mental illness meeting with an external catalyst, a legally-purchased gun. These one to three second exposures were shot in the photographer's home, where she has successfully hidden her battle with Bipolar 1 with Psychosis from nearly everyone for years. Until she got treatment, it was as if there was another person crawling and scratching beneath her skin; it was an evil presence that burrowed inside of her, while her outward appearance told a different story. For years, this demon beneath the surface pushed her from the inside out, forcing her toward making her darkest thoughts a reality. She purchased the gun in this series legally and, when she told the dealer she had bipolar disorder, he laughed and said, "Everybody's got something." This work is not a condemnation of the mentally ill, but rather a personal exposé intended as a reminder that one can never know what's going on in another's mind. For the mentally ill - and for anyone in a moment of frenzy - guns turn uncontrollable thought into fatal action. The true insanity is that we continue to let it happen.